艾倫休閒小舖

這些文章是IELTS所提供的範文，以說明評分標準，僅供雅思學術組考生參考用，若要引用轉載請標明出處喔!

(同學們注意囉! 為保留全貌，原文裡的文法錯誤我仍然保留，不要混淆喔!)

Sample Script A

Band：5

This is a bar chart of the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods. In 1970, most of Men were studying part–time but from 1980, studying part-time was decreased and studying full–time was increased and 1990, it was twice as many students as in 1970.

On the other hand, Women studying Full-time were increased and not only Full-time, part-time also were increased. in 1990, Studying full–time was three times as many students as in 1970. If compare Men and Women, as you see, in 1970, Men were studying more than women full–time or part–time but it changed from 1980 and then, in 1990, Women were studying part–time more than Men and Studying full–time was same number.

It shows you Women has a high education now.

(Allen: Countless grammatical errors. Terrible)

NExaminer comment

The length of the answer is just acceptable. There is a good attempt to describe the overall trends but the content would have been greatly improved if the candidate had included some reference to the figures given on the graph. Without these, the reader is lacking some important information. The answer is quite different to follow and there are some punctuation errors that cause confusion. The structures are fairly simple and efforts to produce more complex sentences are not successful. 

Sample Script B-1

Band：6

According to this graph, the number of men and women in farther education in Britain shows the following pattern.

In the case of male, the number of male has declined slightly from about 1000 thousands in 1970/71 to about 850 thousands in 1990/91. However, this figure rose back to about 850 thousands in 1990/91 from about 820 thousands in 1980/81. The proportion of full-time education has declined during this period. However, the proportion of part-time education has increased dramatically.

On the other hand, in the case of female, the number of both full–time education and part–time education has increased during the period.

From about 700 thousands in 1970/71, these figures rose to about 820 thousands in 1980/81, to about 1100 thousands in 1990/91.

In terms of full–time education, this figure rose by about 260 to about 900 in 1990/91.

On the other hand, with respect to part–time education, this figure rose dramatically between 1980/81 and 1970/71. However, this figure rose slightly between 1980/81 and 1990/91.  (Allen: Too lengthy; not brief and clean)

NExaminer comment

ΠThe candidate has made a good attempt to describe the graphs looking at global trends and more detailed figures. There is, however, some information missing and the information is inaccurate in minor areas.

 The answer flows quite smoothly although connectives are overused or inappropriate, and some of the points do not link up well.

Ž The grammatical accuracy is quite good and the language used to describe the trends is well-handled. However, there are problems with expression and the appropriate choice of words and whilst there is good structural control, the complexity and variation in the sentences are limited.

Sample Script B-2

Band：6

This graph shows the percentage of audiences over 4yrs old of UK follows the radio and television throughout the day during the period October—December 1992.

It has been observed from the graph that less than 10% audiences follows the radio at 6:00 am and the percentage raised to a pick around 30% at 8 AM and decline gradually to around 10% during the period 2:00 to 4:00 PM and again raised a bit to around 12% between 4:00 to 6:00 PM. It has again dropped to below 10% at around 10 PM. The rate again raised to a bit between 10:00 PM to 12:00 PM and then dropped slowly by 4:00 AM.

On the other hand, the rate of television audiences raises 0-10% during the period 6:00 to 8:00 am and remain steady up to 10 AM and then gradually goes down by 12:00 am. The percentage raised dramatically to around 15% by 2:00 PM which again raised to a pick about 40% between 6:00-8:00 PM and then gradually dropped between the period 12:00 PM to 4:00 AM.

NExaminer comment

ΠThe answer has an appropriate introduction which the candidate has attempted to express in his/her own words. There is good coverage of the data and a brief reference to contrasting trends.

 The answer can be followed although it is rather repetitive and cohesive devices are overused. Sentences are long but lack complexity.

Ž In order to gain a higher mark for content, the candidate would be expected to select the salient features of the graph and comment primarily on these.

 There are some errors in tense, verb form and spelling which interfere slightly with the flow of the answer.

Sample Script C

Band：7

The bold graph shows the television audiences throughout the day. It shows that the percentage of audiences is zero percent in early morning but it gradually raises upto ten percent at 8:00 am and maintains the same from the next two hours. however after that it rises sharp upto twenty percent within the next two hours. After this the graph rises very fast and attains its peak at 10 pm which is about forty-five percent. The graph gradually falls down and at 2:00 am it is at five percent. The thinner graph shows the percentage of radio audiences. Unlike the television on e the peak percentage of the radio audiences is at 8:00 am which is about 30 percent. Then it gradually falls and it corresponds with the television one at two pm. After that it gradually falls but with a small increase in percentage of 4:30 to 6:00 pm. The percentage of audience then gradually goes down and at four Am it is the lowest which is near 2 percentages. These graphs proves the progressive popularity of television.

NExaminer comment

Œ The answer deals well with both the individual media trends and the overall comparison of these trends. The opening could be more fully more developed with the inclusion of information relating to the groups studied and the period of time during which study took place.  

 There is a good variety of cohesive devices and the message can be followed quite easily although the expression is sometimes a little clumsy.

Ž Structures are complex and vocabulary is varied but there are errors in word forms, tense and voice though these do not impede communication.